Defrosting the Freezer
This is still about running.
Earlier this week, I defrosted my freezer. This is a semi-regular task as it’s just one of those little cupboards within the fridge, and despite a handyman replacing the previously broken door, it still doesn’t seem to keep the frost from curling around the edges like a white good in Narnia. It’s a tedious task, isn’t it, pulling everything out, laying down the towels, waiting. I turned off the fridge and went out for a couple of hours.
Well, when I got back, it was the most glorious thing: I put my hand to the top of the freezer to check on its progress and the entire top sheet of ice came away in my hand. I slid it out, this perfect mould of the top of the freezer, and simply carried it over to the sink. Job done. I put things back in the freezer, shut the door with a satisfying click and turned the fridge back on.
That’s how running feels right now. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, my goal over autumn and winter is to get my speed back. Of course, it would be amazing to be faster than ever, but my pacing has fallen so far behind what it used to be, and what with all the mountains and injuries, it would be a gift to be even within spitting distance of my former glory. More than anything, I want to get back to seeing numbers on my watch that I’m more used to. I haven’t seen pacing under 4 minutes per kilometre in over a year. And that’s fine, that’s been fine, the whole point has been learning how to move slower than ever, to “power hike”, to be patient with myself and simply cover ground. It sounds silly, but it took years to change the internal narrative away from my road runner roots. To become, for better and worse, an ultra runner.
Aside from Ultra Trail Snowdonia 50k next year, I’m thinking of taking a break from ultras. I’ve got some other life priorities like finishing A Level Biology and publishing a book. While skipping out the door for an interval session this week, I realised what a golden opportunity this could be - to spend not just the autumn and winter sharpening up, but the year. To go back to club racing, to big goals on shorter courses, to being finished with a race by lunch time. Who knows how I’ll feel about all of this by March, when I’m sprinting for the finish line in the Bath Half for the RSPB (sponsor me here!). But for now, in week 4 of my speed work, I’m starting to see an old version of myself that I’d kind of missed.
It’s felt like removing that solid, smooth, complete slab of ice. I’ve approached these sessions with a similar level of procrastination and dread to the defrosting, and it hasn’t proved to feel anywhere near as awful as anticipated. It’s just a basic set of chemical processes and a little patience. The defrosted freezer, my old 10k pace, have always been there. It’s just taking a little bit of work to uncover it again. There are no magic workouts, but the one this week felt like that final massive slab of ice. I ducked under 4 minutes per kilometre for a moment. It was always there, I just needed to melt away some of the scraggy bits of frost.
I initially moved from road running to trail running because at the time, constantly criticising my pacing was proving detrimental to my mental health and enjoyment of the sport. Now, it feels really fun. On the trails, the splits are semi-meaningless. I’m going uphill through slick mud and over tree roots, let the pace be what it will be. But I’ve absolutely turned my workouts into a game. Next time I do my hill strides, will I be able to go from the brick wall to the telegraph pole every time? I can’t wait to find out. The frozen peas now properly fit in the freezer. Everything is possible.
…Have I really just compared running to defrosting the freezer?! If you’re not already a subscriber, feel free to subscribe for similar poignant reflections on the sport.