Winter Solstice
Embracing the winter from the outside in
I find summer solstice slightly depressing. It’s a gut-reaction that I really need to get over because actually, I love tracking the slightly darker evenings on a week-by-week basis, and I wind down to sleep better when it’s darker earlier. The winter solstice however has always been a time of great celebration. It’s upwards from here. Yes there’s still January and February to get through, but every day is slightly longer, the sunrise is at a civilised hour, there will be woodpeckers soon, and before you know it, there will be daffodils.
Winter is hard. Last year, I suffered with insomnia, the kind that plagues you even when you’re so sleep-deprived that you think surely, surely I should be able to just fall over and sleep right here on the pavement. But you can’t. It doesn’t make sense. It is the ultimate cruelty. I scraped by, I read a lot of books in the middle of the night, I was better by the end of winter.
This year, being freelance, I’m generally able to be outside a lot more. You would think a full-time job producing audiobooks should be perfect for winter - all cosy in a studio with soft lighting, being read aloud to all day. Surely the comforting confines of a recording studio are the perfect place to be, sheltered from the brewing storms and the rising rivers. But - and I don’t mean to complain - you are starved of daylight. By going freelance in a month when there’s little work besides potentially parading around as an elf (I have done my time, I did it in 2016), I have sunk into days of writing and being outside, running.
It’s a taste of the future I dream of. To live somewhere like this - on the edge of the countryside - and spend my days like this. I write and edit in the morning, I run, I write and edit in the afternoon. I read in the evenings. I see friends, I potter, I am on top of my household admin.
These things can’t last, and I’m aware of that too. My career is not there yet. But this week, I’ve been out in the middle of the day for hours, sinking my running shoes into the mud, grabbing hold of bare branches and smiling when the sun finds a thinner layer of cloud to bask behind. There are moments of hail, there are moments of rain and sometimes the wind cuts right through my lungs. But I’m outside to witness it, my skin and bones are outside to witness it, and I feel much better for it.
I wholly welcome the winter solstice and the pivot towards more daylight hours. But I’ve really enjoyed these shorter winter days, too. I’ve loved running home as the sky is darkening at 4pm, that specific winter light fading outside the duvet of sky. I love my eyes adjusting to the dark until yes, I realise that no, I cannot see anymore. It doesn’t matter, because I’ve had my time in the daylight. I have moved in rhythm with it all.
In other news…
I wrote a piece for iRunFar this week about a new film from adidas TERREX celebrating ultrarunning crews. The film is beautifully put together and I really enjoyed writing about it.
I really recommend the audiobook of ‘In The Spell of the Barkley’ by Michiel Panhuysen, narrated by Rupert Holliday-Evans. It’s a compelling book in itself, and Rupert’s narration does the race, the atmosphere and the writing huge justice. Of course, read the physical book if that’s your preferred method of reading, but the audiobook feels like sitting down and hearing one captivating anecdote after another. I listened on my long runs.
